Month: December 2015

Sealing November With An Adventure (Part 2)

What really happened was that I took Nincompoop (one of my best friends) along with me to Bunnie’s, and I kinda forgot the way because of which we had to walk for about 20 minutes.

Now, this little piece of shit had an accident a few days ago and he somehow managed to lose his phone and almost die, in just an hour. This meant I had to ring his landline up and to my horror, Mommy Bunnie took the call. Thankfully, she didn’t really assassinate me for disturbing her sleep, but she did tell me that Bunnie wasn’t going out that morning…

Anyway, we had reached already and Nincompoop was giving me the coldest stares she has ever given to someone. No seriously, her eyes looked so horrifying; it felt like those things could shoot icicles any moment.  But then I called jack, another friend of mine to our rescue, and thankfully I didn’t have to witness Nincompoop’s snow powers.

Jack gave us a ride back home, and at that moment, it felt like he was an angel sent from heaven (that is, if we ignore the fact that he has murdered a person before, and was thrown out of our school because he hit a girl).

After reaching home safely (with the help of a murderer) I was finally able to check my phone, and guess what?

Jack had texted me that he had a crush on Nincompoop.

So, after this cute little adventure of mine, I learnt a few things:

  • Don’t EVER forget the way to your exe’s place, because you might end up calling an escaped murderer for help.
  • NEVER underestimate your best friend’s power to seduce an escaped murderer.
  • Don’t even think of ringing your exe’s home phone, even if you’re kidnapped by a bunch of arctic apes.
  • Sundays have mornings too, but don’t tell anyone about it, it’s a secret.

I guess that’s enough shit to take for all of us, so I will be signing out.


THAT Girl.

Sealing November With An Adventure (Part 1)

It was a chilly Sunday morning, and the freezing wind was slapping the dull green leaves against each other. I did up my laces and took one last look at my reflection. This was it. This was my last shot at winning back what I had lost, and there was no way I was letting it go this time.

With every step that I took on that lonely road, my heartbeat pounded a little harder, and with every turn that I took, the thoughts in my mind changed their direction. The sun was up when I finally reached his place, and I stared up at his balcony like a child eyeing a jar of cookies sitting on the topmost shelf.

I called his number, and with the melody of his ringtone, raised a melancholy in my stomach, where once a thousand butterflies used to flutter at the feeling of his lips kissing my neck.

I was lying to myself all this time, comforting myself with the distant thought of getting back something that was never mine to have. But now, I gave up.

My eyes were dry, because all my tears were busy drowning my soul, and now I know what killed the butterflies.

Those poor things couldn’t survive the pieces of my shattered heart falling on them.

Hello there, hooman!

What you read up there was an extremely exaggerated version of what really happened, but it’s beautiful and you should appreciate that (I literally spent two hours sitting on the shitpot framing the whole thing, and it almost made me forget to clean up once I was done).

I guess you will have to wait for the next post to know what happened next, because I just discovered this HUGE pile of homework waiting very patiently on my desk…

Signing out with love (and a couple of pounds of tension),

The Procr-Ass-Tinator.