I can’t, and I won’t joke today, because it might look like a joke to them, but it doesn’t really seem like one to me.
Today is just one of the days when I break down, when I just CAN’T take it anymore.
I can’t step into the kitchen without feeling a sudden urge to stab myself with a knife.
I can’t go sit in the balcony without imagining myself jumping off the 8th floor.
I can’t open the drawer without thinking about hanging myself to death with one of the ties.
I can’t use the washroom without wanting to gulp down a bit too much of cleaner.
Yes, it’s just one of those days.
My house, it doesn’t really feel like home to me anymore,my parents, they think of me just as a mere responsibility, a burden, a huge disappointment,my teachers, they believe I’m worthless,and my friends, they laugh at how stupid I am.
It feels like I belong nowhere, like this world isn’t the right place for me.
It’s like my soul feels entrapped in my body, screaming to be freed.
I hate it, how stuff gets fine for some time and then I go through all of it again. I hate it, how I stop myself from slitting open my throat each time, hoping things will get better. I hate reading sad stuff on Pinterest and then wanting to die. I hate the fact that I am not talented, or beautiful, or intelligent.
I hate myself.